~SIGH~

Isn't it kinda a sick joke that my baby boy (can I still call him that?) is finally sleeping through the night, and I have time to sleep, but now it gives me time to think. Yep, I'm an insomniac. I think instead of sleep. (Really nothing new for me, but I go through phases) For a few weeks now I've been awake in the weee hours of the night. I find myself having to attempt some kind of cat nap during part of one of Ollie's naps (while Gabe watches a show-horrible mom I know), but I can't make myself sleep at night. So then I stop taking cat naps, and get into a work out routine, which is supposed to help you sleep better right? My body still won't adjust. I'm in a stress funk. Well really I don't know if you could call it stress. I don't feel majorly stressed, just anxious. Is that a good word? I want the next six months to fast forward themselves. Ha! That sounds bad, so I better explain a tad.

Adam is taking two major licensing tests in August. These will allow him to do the things he needs to do for his job; buy stocks, set up accounts, etc etc. His big one, the Series 7 test, is the 9th, and the other Series 66 test is the 26th. That's what he's being paid to study for hard core right now. The Series 7 is a bigger test but Ej associates pass is better, cause they have more time to study for it. The series 66 is smaller, but they only get the two weeks after the series 7 is done to try to cram for it. ANYWAY, I feel completely confident in my husband. He has been scoring awesome on his chapter exams and doing awesome on all his review questions, etc. It's just one of those things that makes tension in life, ya know? You wait around for it, and it's stressful for him. He feels it, we feel it. It's fun.... :) If he were to fail, he'd be fired. Lovely of them right, but they pay you to study and they expect you to pass.

I know he'll do wonderful, I just wish we were onto the next step already.

NOW, Adam and I have never felt so inspired in our marriage to do something, than we did to move here to St G. It was amazing the blessings we received, and how things worked themselves out for us. That being said, it didn't mean it was easy, and we knew it wouldn't be. I just wish the hardest first six to nine months would go a tad fast than they are. The week after his tests he trains. The last week in Aug/first week of September he leaves us for a week to go to Tempi, AZ to train. He comes home and gets to start knocking doors, and building up clients. BUT, he can't sell yet until he has another training done at the end of October, where he leaves for another week. He graduates, and gets the official okay to actually do something for clients. The "sell date". This part is stressful for me, cause duh, no Adam around. It's hard for him, cause they send him to find clients after the first training, but he has to tell them he can't sign them up right away, just introduce what he can help them with. After October, it's just us praying like crazy that people will confide in him and want to be a his clients. That he can build a business successfully for the next two years. On top of that we are dirt poor. I'm talking dirty dirt people. Poorer than newlywed poor. Ha. How are we gonna pay bills poor. Not trying to get sympathy, just stating those fun facts. The kind of fun poorness I hope that I'll grow from and look back and appreciate someday. We are so much closer to family, and are already finding we want to come up and visit already a bunch, but can't. No money, no husband, who is working crazy hours. What a tricky time to be so moneyless. During summer when we want to play, and into the holidays where all you do is spend money. Should be life changing.

Non of it is easy, and we know it, that's why I want it to go quickly. :) So that is why it won't. So that is why I have insomnia. Do you think I'll have it for the next 6-9 months? Man I hope not. SIGH....I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm miserable, cause I'm not, so I hope it doesn't come across that way. It's just life right now, so I'd like to remember it despite the hardness.

I guess on the bright side you lucky people get to read me ranting in our blog more often. I mean, who doesn't LOVE a Mandy mid-night rant? Who's with me there? HA. It helps me to "write" my thoughts down, so they aren't so jumbled in my head. It usually helps me sleep. I also get more reading in right now. I got some good book recommendations right now, if anyone wants them. No reading doesn't make me tired, or keep me awake. It just keeps me occupied during the hours of bleh. Anyway, hope you're all having good dreams. Wish I was.....